Divorce can bring about many difficult emotions, challenging situations, and tough decisions.  To help you through, it’s a good idea to invite your “Best Self” to your mediation process.

Who is my Best Self and why is it important to my divorce mediation?

Your Best Self is just that – who you are when you are at your best.  

Your “Best Self” refers to the ideal version of yourself. This ideal self is not about perfection but about being the most authentic version of yourself.  This means living in alignment with your highest core values, strengths, and aspirations.

Being your Best Self in challenging situations—like a divorce mediation—is crucial because it enables you to navigate decisions and potential adversity with resilience, integrity, and effectiveness.  

Why is inviting my Best Self to divorce mediation so important?

When you focus on being your Best Self, it’s easier to stay calm, make rational decisions, and avoid impulsive actions. 

You are also better able to manage emotions, more likely to respond rather than react, and maintain clarity and composure rather than lose your cool. 

Being your Best Self helps you prioritize what aligns with your standards and core values, which in turn helps you maintain your self-respect and keep your head up high.

When you’re at your best, your ability to analyze situations, make informed decisions, and find effective solutions is heightened, leading to more successful outcomes in the mediation process.

Acting as your Best Self in a divorce mediation situation makes it more likely that you will avoid actions or decisions that you might later regret.  

Following your highest values and potential boosts your self-esteem and self-respect, knowing you’ve handled the situation with integrity and strength. 

Your Best Self fosters a sense of inner peace, because you are confident that you acted in alignment with your values. This contributes to greater inner peace and long-term mental and emotional well-being.

Once your mediation is completed and your divorce is finalized, you and your Best Self can look back with confidence that you maintained your integrity, utilized your strengths, and stayed true to your core values. 

So, how do I become better acquainted with my Best Self?

Your core values and personal strengths are the main components of your Best Self. They influence how you behave, make decisions, and guide your actions.

Ask yourself:

Who am I when I am my Best Self?

What core values do I choose to to steer my life, govern my decisions and guide my behavior?

What are my greatest strengths and natural talents?  How can I draw upon these to live most aligned with my Best Self?

Practical Steps to Reach Your “Best Self” During Your Divorce and Mediation Process:

Your “Best Self” is the version of you that reflects your most positive traits, core values, personal strengths, and productive behaviors. It is who you are when you are most authentic, fulfilled, and engaged in life. 

Again, ask yourself, “Who am I when I am my Best Self?”

Assess your values and beliefs by determining what matters most to you and what you stand for.  What are the core values that guide your actions and decisions? How will you apply them to the mediation process?  

Continually check in with yourself. Are your decisions and behaviors in alignment with your Best Self?

Identify and celebrate your strengths and be mindful of areas that need improvement.  Be aware of how these strengths can guide you in your mediation process.  What steps can you take to minimize the influence of your weaknesses?

Embrace change by being flexible and willing to adapt to new circumstances guided by your Best Self principles.  

There will be transitions that come with your divorce.  Focus on the aspects you can control – your thoughts, actions, and reactions.  Although you cannot control how others behave or think, you can control how you respond.

Maximize your strengths and develop resilience to bounce back from setbacks, work through conflicts, and continue to move forward in mediation and in post-divorce life.

Set clear intentions, specific objectives, and achievable goals that align with your values, strengths, and aspirations.   

Consistently visualizing and reflecting upon the person you want to be boosts motivation, promotes clear decision-making, encourages behavior adjustments in pursuit of that ideal self, and optimizes mediation outcomes.

Invite your Best Self to your divorce mediation. You are who you bring to your future—make it your Best Self.