Often times, when two people are in the midst of divorce, one or both parties just want to get the process over with. The longer the divorce is drawn out, the longer it takes it pick up the pieces and begin the next chapter of life. Some divorces are relatively amicable and smooth, but many have a reasonable amount of tension. This is yet another reason to get through it as quickly as possible.
However, rushing through a divorce in order to “get it over with” is not always the best approach. In fact, it’s almost never the best way to achieve the best possible result in the long term. When divorce is looked at something undesirable that just needs to be gotten out of the way, one or both partners often end up with regrets when the divorce actually does become finalized. Here are three of the most common post-divorce regrets.
1. Making things more difficult for children
This is the first and most heartbreaking regret on the list — because when two divorcing partners get caught up in the tensions of the moment, and fail to see the bigger picture, it’s really the children involved who pay the price. In the majority of divorces involving children, both parents will continue to play an active role in the lives of the children. This is, of course, desirable in many cases. But effective co-parenting becomes a hundred times more difficult when a contentious divorces creates wounds and divides between the two parents, which then affect the children in myriad ways.
2. Burning bridges with your former spouse
Even if there aren’t children involved (but especially if there are), it’s always preferable to maintain a cordial relationship with your former spouse. Obviously, when marriages come to the point of divorce, there can be a lot of tension. But giving into that tension — instead of taking a step back and looking for the most amicable way to dissolve the marriage — can have lasting effects that aren’t ideal for either party.
3. Spending a fortune on legal fees
When one divorcing parties feels threatened or at risk of an unfair divorce settlement, an aggressive divorce lawyer is often hired. Naturally, the other party will hire a lawyer with a view toward defending their own interests — and before you know it, there’s an expensive legal battle in process. Most couples regret the amount of money they spend fighting each other in court when all is said and done.
Is there another way?
Nobody is saying divorce should be easy — and it’s not. But by taking time to see the bigger picture, and stepping back for a more objective view of the situation, it is entirely possible to achieve better outcomes for everyone involved. The services of a professional divorce mediator can have significant benefits in this respect, but it’s important to work with a licensed and experienced professional who helps you and your divorcing partner navigate sensitive issues in constructive ways. With the right perspective, you can avoid common regrets and start the next chapter of life on the best possible note.